Thursday 14 January 2021
07.46 pm – Think of me when you do pray, that hope will live from day to day….
Friday 15 January 2021
06.20 pm – I don’t know if you are aware, but in 1982 do you know what Time magazine voted ‘Man of the Year?’ You will be surprised. Not a man but a computer! The world has gone nuts, as Piers Morgan said, not from now, but from a long time ago. Also, it wasn’t that long ago, well in 1852, that Emma Snodgrass was arrested in Boston in America. Do you know what for? You will never believe it – she was arrested for wearing trousers! There’s a bit of discrimination there, but in 1852 who gave a damn.
Finally, as a third piece of useless information, only valid if you go to pub quizzes John/Eleanor Rykener, a male cross-dressing prostitute was brought to Court in London. Do you know what for? Let me tell you… “committing that detestable unmentionable and ignominious vice, in late medieval England, England’s only recorded case on same-sex intercourse in 1395.” The only thing is… we don’t know what the verdict was!!!!
Saturday 16 January 2021
07.10 pm – You know that I have a fascination about cancer, flu, aids, COVID, and I wrote an article asking the question: “what if these viruses are actually aliens?” Well, here’s one for you that is quite interesting, do you know when the first UFO siting was made…probably you don’t, so, I’m going to have to exhibit pub quiz knowledge again. In fact, it was on the 18 January 1664, when perplexed pilgrims in Boston, in the United States, reported Americas first UFO sighting, I bet that surprised you didn’t it. Another surprising thing about the United States, and maybe I should be making a programme based on Jonathan Kings Entertainment USA is, that, in New York City the ‘Sullivan ordinance’ was passed, and do you know what that was …that was a law that made it illegal for women to smoke in public places. Well, there you have it, as Mr Blair said when he couldn’t reply to any of the questions from the media. I can say, that two weeks later the Mayor of New York vetoed the law. However, on the 22 January 1908, a certain Katie Mulcahy was arrested for lighting a cigarette and was fined 5 dollars. Do you know what she told the Judge and fair play to her…? “I’ve got as much right to smoke as you have Judge. I never heard a damn thing about this new law and, I don’t want to hear about it No man shall dictate to me” Well there’s a woman for you, sounds a bit familiar to me.
Sunday 17 January 2021
06.53 pm – Practicing law has been an interesting journey, and I’ve been involved in over a hundred murder trials, and god knows how many murder appeals. However, there’s one that I would love to have defended and it was in 1897 when a certain Elva Zona Heaster was found dead in a city in West Virginia. Her husband was tried for murder and was convicted, and you are not going to believe this… how that conviction was sustained, believe it or not, this conviction was secured with a testimony of a ghost. If only ghosts were admissible evidence in the English Courts, I wonder how many people would be acquitted, and more importantly, how many more would be convicted.
Monday 18 January 2021
07.12 pm – I bet a pound to a penny that if I asked anyone that is reading this, what they were doing on the 3 March 1970? they wouldn’t know or can’t remember. I can, however, and I will explain why. On the 3 March 1970, I was 14 ½ years of age, and with my school, we went to see the play Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. We went to the Northampton Theatre and guess who was Feste the Clown? None other than Adam Faith. Now, I got lucky. Do you know who I sat next to? None other than Sandy Shaw, and yes, I can confirm, that even there, not only did she hold my hand for a good period of the Play but she wasn’t wearing any shoes. She complimented me that I was able to quote from Twelfth Night (that was easy because it was a set book for my English
O ‘Level) and at the end of the performance, the boys and the master had to wait for me, because she introduced me to Adam Faith. Now, the conversation that occurred, and the inspiration that followed, if you want to know more you will simply have to wait until I get out of this rat trap and read my book.
Tuesday 19 January 2021
The year I think would be 1972, or it might be 1973, but, believe it or not, in those days anyone could registrar a business name at Companies House for a pound. I, of course, registered the trading name of ‘Select Pictures’ and imagined myself as the father of David O Selznick, who had formed the company at the turn of the 19th century. I then wrote a letter to the Times newspaper which was reprinted in the Banker, with the grand title ‘Chairman and CEO of Select Pictures’ with an address (a council house) in Northamptonshire. A certain Philip Mackie sent me a script of the ‘Naked Civil Servant’ and offered it to me exclusively, with the right to produce the film for a period of one year. I wasn’t even 18 years of age and here was a great writer sending me a script, but because of my sexual naivety, I hadn’t got a clue in hell what a transexual was. In fact, I didn’t even know any other sexual for that matter. After a month I remember going to the post office and sending it back to Mr Mackie who then when he received it, telephoned me to thank me. Well, look up anyone whose reading this diary the Naked Civil Servant and Philip Mackie, and the rest is history.
Thursday 21 January 2021
06.58 pm – ‘Love thyself last!!!!’
Friday 22 January 2021
02.18 pm – I strongly suggest that anyone reading this to watch the film ‘Tea with Mussolini.’ If I have a regret, I convinced Director Franco Zeffirelli that my eldest son should not play the part of Luca, now, here is where I made a mistake. When I was a teenager and I was in a pop group we went on Hughie Greens Opportunity Knocks, and we were due to go back the following, but my mother wasn’t having any of it “We didn’t come here in this country for you to have long hair and play loud music!” she screamed at me, and when my father and uncle tried to interfere, she told them in not so polite terms to get lost as this was her decision and I was her son. You see, when I was young, my mother did not have the final say in things, she had the only say. My son, Mike, was due to get this part as it was made for him. But I pleaded with Zeffirelli, who we’d made a film with before when I was at MGM and got on quite well, and told him I needed my son to go to University and get a degree before he did anything. One thing that Zeffirelli did tell me is that whoever got that part would only make one movie. My sons best friend Baird Wallace got the part and only did one film, but fair play to him he’s got an extremely successful business, and still a good friend to my son. So, you see having promised myself that I would not make the same mistakes my parents made with me, I went on and probably made even bigger ones with my children. But each parent acts upon love and that is what makes life dangerous.
Saturday 23 January 2021
When Moses came down from the mountain and brought the ten Commandments with him, there were actually twelve Commandments, but he could not find room for all of them on the Stone. So, I’m going to let you all into a secret as to what the other two commandments were.
Commandment 11 – ‘Though shalt not plead guilty.”
Commandment 12 – ‘Though shalt not give thigh word in vain.’
Now, I don’t know if any of you are aware but when Moses was a baby and brought up by the Pharaoh, he studied law as part of his curriculum. The 11th and 12th Commandment were suggestions from him too good to round everything off, so when you think of the ten Commandments in future, there were really twelve.
Sunday 24 January 2021
05.10 pm – Normally boys of eighteen years of age have a lot on their minds. Having a good time, girls, and doing as little as possible as much as probable. It was all so different in 1974 in my times. As I always say to my children in the old days…well they can’t be so old as I’m still here, so, they are still the current days, but way back in 1974 I wrote a letter to the Times which was reprinted in the Banker. That letter changed the course of how motion pictures would be financed in the UK. Frankly, I should have received a reward for it but instead years later i.e., in 2013, all I received was a politically motivated prosecution but you know what I’m not really that bitter. I should be proud that the State thinks so much of me that they put forward enormous resources, trickery, deceit, mendacity, to try and bring me down, but they have not succeeded. All this has done is make me stronger as everybody will see soon.
Monday 25 January 2021
06.46 pm – Now then, let’s see if we can keep everybody happy with some facts and figures that may surprise a lot of people, and amuse.
- I don’t know if you know this but the anus is the first part of the human body to develop in the womb. Imagine that! It starts like a very tiny opening medically called a blastopore. That’s why when people call others an arsehole it’s because that’s how we start life!
- The old chicken and egg came to light, and this is what I say the chicken came after the egg. Why? Because birds revolve from earlier egg-laying reptiles, I resolved the question that everyone asks.
- Here’s a good one, but please don’t repeat it. In 1672 an angry mob of dutchmen killed and ate their Prime Minister don’t believe me check it out.
Finally, and this I remember personally in 1995, Boris Yeltsin was found outside the Whitehouse wearing only his underpants and tried to hail a taxi so he could go and buy a pizza check, them all out and enjoy.
Tuesday 26 January 2021
06.34 pm – My definition of ‘democracy’ is not in accordance with the Greek word upon which it is founded mainly people power but it is this: – liberty to think rather than duty to believe.
Wednesday 27 January 2021
06.08 pm – For the diary of today I had planned at least an hour speaking on my diary for today, but then I thought ‘Nah’ – that will wind Caroline up. So, instead, I am happy to say that I have been moved to the Open Section and it looks very much that I will be getting a new passport which will enable me to travel. I am not one for recriminations because I neither have the time, staff, or inclination, to hold grudges, so, I am grateful to the staff in here who have organised this. Finally, as our school song said: “we go steady and strong facing the future in strength.”
NB: Some images retrieved from Google, will remove at owner’s request.