Tuesday 11 December 2018
08.16pm – Today it’s my youngest sons 23rd birthday, so, I wish him Happy Birthday. Notwithstanding, he has every reason to be bitter, he has grown up to be a gentleman, and whilst he has no malice in his bones he is not to be taken as a pushover, and very decisive. Of course, I’m proud as any father would be but what makes me so proud and envious, in a way, of him, is, that he has no desire to seek any kind of reprisals against a State that unlawfully jailed me. He has no time for getting even, he wants to only even out the road for the future. Well done, maybe he is destined for a life in politics after all!!! Happy birthday, son.
Wednesday 12 December 2018
07.58pm – Damn and blast. Damn and blast!!!! I’m effing ill and I really can’t afford to be ill damn it.
Thursday 13 December 2018
01.00pm – Am ill but the doctor has saved me by prescribing antibiotics so thank you, doctor, you have saved me big time. I never appreciated that with prostate C even a damn cold or flu can be problematic. I will just try and relax today and hope that by this time tomorrow I should be better. That is the plan anyway. Everything else is OK. Just doing my best. Did not expect to be ill.
Friday 14 December 2018
08.17pm – I know many of you probably won’t believe me, but last night I slept with the Bible on my chest. OK, laugh all you want but today I felt better. I know some of you will say that I had the good fortune of having antibiotics, however, I do not believe that was all the cure. Somehow, somewhere, in some way, I seem to have got better and thank you, God. It’s the third time you have saved me the last six effing, effing, years of illegal effing detention and I will not let this go when I am out. I’m not as sweet as my youngest son, and yes, I feel effing aggrieved because the State owes me effing six years backstop, back pay, and back time, and I will collect. I don’t know how, or when, but my bill of account will be presented to Great Britain and it will get aid. For too long people have made a career out of my detention and it stops right now. Next year, will be my year of getting back what is owed to me by the State so, it had better be ready to settle.
Saturday 15 December 2018
07.13pm – First of all I want to say publicly a big thank you to – Mr. Wayne Stubbs and his family – who have for over one year sent me the Daily Mail each and every day. I am so grateful and thank you, dear friend, for what you have done. A big thank you and Merry Xmas.
07.11pm – I note, reading the Daily Mail, that the University of Oxford has carried out a research project funded by the Medical Research Council about – wait for it – orgasms!!! I will come straight to the point….as interesting as it may be, what is the best position for women (on top) and men (any position) what the hell is going on? I mean we have a hundred different types of serious illnesses, and cancer, etc., and the MRC give a grant to find out about orgasms? What about the common cold? What about artificial blood? What about cancers? Who gives a flying eff about orgasms? Great if you can get it but I bet a million women with breast cancer or womb cancer will forgo an orgasm for the rest of their lives if the cancer is cured!!! So, wake the eff up MRC, and the University of Oxford, and other Universities that fund absurd projects! I was so shocked and how wasteful and absurd!
Sunday 16 December 2018
01.02 – Yesterday was really cold day but today is much warmer and a lovely sunshine. The antibiotics are working but there is a fightback from the flu virus and I’m piggy in the effing middle. I really am so effing tired of ill health, one thing after another that sometimes a trip to Switzerland’s Dignitas is a welcome relief!
Monday 17 December 2018
12.50pm – You cannot buy aftershave here or any kind of scent other than religious oils. I have KAKO and GHIZANI. Last night I put some on and remembered an incident in 1968 when my mother allowed me to go to a discotheque on the proviso, I was back by 9pm. There was a girl there who liked me and she walked with me to the bus stop for the 8.30pm Wellingborough to Irchester, taking 12 minutes. We arrived at 8.15pm and waited in a cold and damp shelter. The girl said: “you can kiss me if you want.” So, I kissed her on the cheek and caught the smell of her perfume which was – yes – like KAKO and GHIZANI. It was so strong I was put off, and the smell of whatever perfume she had has stayed with me 50 years and it follows that I never saw the girl again, can’t even remember her name. Funny and odd how life is eh? Who would have thought 50 years for me to remember an incident in 1968!!!
Tuesday 18 December 2018
07.47pm – Well Xmas is upon me yet again and it’s my sixth year wrongfully convicted and even more wrongfully imprisoned. Do I wish all those involved well? No! I do not! But I, also, do not wish them any harm because it serves no purpose. I wish them nothing, and nothing will all those involved be for the rest of their lives – some did it unknowingly – some on purpose. It does not matter. All those involved know who they are and hope they can look in the mirror and see who they see and what type of person they are! I am not bitter, I am just disappointed at how this has all been allowed to happen. For the police or the CPS to hack the Police National Computer, and then, change the data, then after the trial, change it back again, is nothing other than wicked! Do I think that the Crown Prosecutors were involved and knew about it? Yes! The QC and the junior, and when the chief CPS Prosecutor found out he went off the case and handed it over. Did Roger Venne the ex-Registrar of Criminal Appeals know? Of course, and shame on him. However, the question is not who knew, and who did it, the question is… who ordered it! That I won’t forgive or forget!
Wednesday 19 December 2018
07.59pm – I’m getting a bit bored with all this moaning and groaning on my case so, let’s move on to something more interesting. OK, do you know an invention that is so perfect that it has never had cause to be improved? I bet you don’t because it’s one that we don’t think of much, yet at some stage in our lives we all use. No, not the wheel although that revolutionized advancement. Do you know what it is? OK, I will tell you. It was US Patent number 6,281 (please do verify the number) on 10 April 1849, and, although, I was not around at that time, even though I feel 500 years old today, was filed by a certain Walter Hunt who sold the rights for $400 making him a real ‘see you En Tee’ not ‘Hunt.’ Do you know what it was? Have you checked the Patent Register? It was a clasp and spring action to keep the finger safes safe – yes, a ‘safety pin’ which I first used in 1979 on my sons nappy and I was scared to death I might spike his stomach. I never did, nor his brother, or sister. You see in those days there were disposable nappies but who the hell could afford them? It was put on, taken off, washed, dried, and used again. I cursed in later years when I could afford disposable nappies but in 1979, 80, and 81, they were hard but exciting times – nappy wise and using the safety pin!!!
Thursday 20 December 2018
07.52pm – Now Caroline says I’m 63, and I say I’m 64, so, how can I prove who is right and who is wrong? Remember, age is not an opinion but a precise act! So, I was born in July 1955, which so far makes Caroline more right than wrong. However, where there is a law there is a flaw! So, you have to include the nine months I was in my mother’s womb so, that makes me right!! But as my grandmother used to say “right is for the fools.” How right she was! Now, have a gander at the photo above. Do you know who they are? Look how beautiful the children are – there are two of my wonderful grandchildren and I ask myself – where the hell have the years gone to make me a grandfather, I feel 20, not 64….
Friday 21 December 2018
(written 20/12/2018 @ 08.06pm) – Hey, have a look at the above wonderful little boy. Why do you think I’m sharing these photos? Because I’m proud!!! Yes, proud of my children, all of them, and what they have all achieved in their own way under difficult circumstances. None of them had it easy but they have all been to great Schools and University. Gordonstoun, St. Georges in Rome, Marymount School in Rome, Italian School in Madrid, Villa Flaminia School in Rome, Cambridge 6th Form College, and Cambridge University, to name but a few. Most of the children are married and those that are not, well they will at some stage. No matter what people think of me I don’t give an eff – I’m proud of my family, and the above is another of my grandchildren.
Saturday 22 December 2018
07.28pm – This afternoon I was mortified that my removal date has changed exactly as I expected and even predicted when I would be notified. Why do you think I was notified today? Yes, you got it, because the Courts are not open again until 15 January 2019 and there is eff all I can do about it!!! I adore technicalities until they are used against me in an unfair manner but you know what? I will accept it with my agnosticism and just get on with it. After all, threescore days plus ten is no big deal, unless, you have to do it unlawfully that is!!!
Sunday 23 December 2018
07.56pm – I was able to talk with my son Anthony who is here in the ‘United Kingdom’ for his birthday to spend with his brother and sister. Boy, where the hell have 39 years gone??? It was only it seems yesterday that he was a mischievous boy who painted my Jaguar car!!! Boy, was I angry but it was only a chattel! I think I did punish him, and his brother, but I didn’t really give a damn because I have never cared about what car I drove, what make shoes I wear, or what suit I wear. Don’t know why. You would expect me to be poncified being a council homeboy made good, but I am not, and at home equally in Beverley Hills, or the slums of New Delhi. I get by!!!
Monday 24 December 2018
06.57pm – In August 1973, I was a month over the age of 18. I was told to go to Guest Travel in Wellingborough, and see a young blonde lady who had tickets for me to travel to Rio De Janeiro in Brazil and, stay at the Hotel California on the Copacabana for one week and, to wait there and, if necessary, transfer to the Inter-Continental Hotel to go to the Ipanema Club called the ‘White Horse’ where I would be met by an English guy who would give me information about a person of interest in San Paulo, who I will only name by initials JM and who used the code name ‘Dein.’ He had been identified since 1971 but on the orders of the British Prime Minister, no action was to be taken and no information shared. I was given a Brazilian ‘girlfriend’ who would identify herself wearing a large sombrero hat (I have that photo of me and her still) and, to go to an area in San Paulo and, to photograph with my ‘girlfriend’ the person in a covert manner. I had three days to do it in, and then fly from San Paulo to Porte Alegre, and then to New York where I would stay at the Plaza Hotel, and then on to Los Angeles where I would stay at the Beverly Wiltshire Hotel. I did it!!!!
Tuesday 25 December 2018
06.40pm – I have been watching the Christmas Edition of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ and boy, oh boy, when it came to the part called ‘make their wish come true’ it was about children who were ill, had cancer, or liver problems, and wanted to meet the Strictly competitors and dancers. It was heartbreaking and I bet that all of those here in this place, me included, all were emotional to see the courage of those young children. We all have hearts and it pains to see how young children are ill with cancer and other serious illnesses, and nothing can be done. If you have problems it’s nothing like those children and their parents. Today is Xmas but I would ask God to please for heaven’s sake do something about cancer and cure the children. Give them a chance to live. I don’t give a fuck about my prostate cancer issues – I will gladly take on one child’s cancer to add to mine if they are cured – make that dream come true God!!!
Wednesday 26 December 2018
07.00pm – I read a bit from my diary to one of the chaps here, and he said I should say a little more about the guy I had to photograph in San Paulo, in Brazil. Well, OK, for one he had a fake Brazilian identity card in the name of Wolfgang Gerhard and he would be at the airport to meet a man called Hans Sedlmeier, who would bring JM money. Of course, he was wanted but SIS knew all about him since 1949 because they traced him to a hotel in the Swiss Alps called Hotel Engel. The man looked a bit like Private Walker in Dads Army but the resemblance stopped there. You need to bear in mind that in 1973, I was razor sharp but really knew little about the Second World War. I was asked to go and do a job, and I did it. Let me say something else too: – when one goes on a trip and is ‘given’ a ‘girlfriend’ or ‘spouse’ it’s in name only. It stops there, and anything you see in the movies or the imaginations is just that. There is definitely no messing around. Remember you are halfway around the world with little, to no cover. The last thing you need is hassle from people from the opposite sex you don’t know. So, the girl I had in San Paulo was truly beautiful but she could fight, shoot, and not afraid to use both those talents. As I said, I did what I was asked and did it well.
Thursday 27 December 2018
07.50pm – My trip to Brazil in 1973 was actually personally sanctioned by Edward Heath who was the Prime Minister at the time. That SIS knew all along that the person whose initials are JM had been allowed to flee Germany and that he had been captured by the Americans in June 1945. The guy was somewhat lucky because as I remember he was on the CROW CASS ‘hit list’ since April 1945 but because he did not have his blood group, tattooed on his arm, the Americans knowing full well who he was let him go. CROWCASS means Central Registry of War Crimes and Security Suspects and this had been formed by the Allies, and the list was circulated to all detention camps. Do you know why JM was allowed to flee by Truman? Because most of the surgical instruments and chemicals used by JM were supplied from 1939-1944, yes to 1944 by US companies to Germany!!! In July 1945, JM was actually given a lift by the US Army out of the detention camp to the town called, I think, Donauwörth. It was necessary to keep JM under observation by the British and ensure he never told his full story about the US supplying Germany with medical equipment knowing what they were to be used for. Some special medication was even addressed to the camps directly in Poland!!! He was allowed to travel to South America and back to Europe almost at will, and so long as he never told his story all was fine. You see my part was minor, to photograph him at the airport greeting a man who brought him money. At the time I solely did as I was asked and it was a great trip. Who would suspect an 18-year-old boy????
Friday 28 December 2018
08.00pm – I received today a lovely letter from Nicholas and Sarah Wood and I know they won’t mind me sharing it with you. How nice, and what a wonderful friend that at the age of 81 and ill, with Sarah undergoing chemotherapy, still finds time to write to me! There is a lot of goodness in humanity and I’m lucky to be the recipient of such warm kindness. I had some lovely Xmas cards all from people I have met in my life/journey.
08.03pm – Today I heard that my auntie Linda has died after a long illness in Italy. I am unable to attend the funeral because of the policy of this Government. In my lifetime, if the government continues this way and prejudices its citizens as it is, then I predict a rebellion and revolt beyond all that has ever been. I hope and pray that something is done. If I were staying in this country, I would do something about it, but I am not, thank God. This country betrays its friends and soon it will have no more friends left to betray. It will revert to the policy of ‘splendid isolation’ and I feel for the people who do not deserve such. I hope things change for the better.
Saturday 29 December 2018
06.36pm – Continuing from my venture to Sao Paulo in Brazil, in 1973, there is an interesting fact that not many people know about the Nuremberg War Trials. The guy that I had to photograph was called JM by initials, and in 1945 he was allowed to leave a detention camp in Germany for reasons I have given, and which have not been previously known. However, of all the so-called War Criminals the worst were the Nazi doctors yet, several doctors that committed heinous crimes experimenting on human beings were either released or acquitted.
Hartheim Euthanasia Institute
Let me name one – Dr. Renno of the Hartheim Euthanasia Institute was allowed to forgo trial owing to ill health – crap! Because he went on to live another 35 effing years in the Black Forest, in luxury!!! Dr. Adolf Pokorny who was on record having written to Himmler saying: ‘The enemy must not only be conquered but exterminated.’ He was acquitted, even though he was the effing architect of the Third Reich’s plans to sterilize millions of people. There were several others who, just before I came to prison the Head of SIS, on the authority of the Foreign Secretary shredded the files. Why? Just because JM and others at the camps used chemicals and equipment supplied by the Allies until 1944! Sorry, but it has to be said my Uncle was in one
of those camps and it has to come out.
Sunday 30 December 2018
06.27pm – The truth!!! Well, what actually is the truth? Whatever the hell it is you can’t really tell the truth at times can you, unless you want to hurt a lot of people on the way? So, what do you settle for? The half-truth or silence! But what if everyone at all times told the truth? If that were so there would be no half-truths and the word ‘lies’ or ‘mendacity’ would be canceled in the dictionary. That was the case if you believe the Bible, for Adam and Eve! Until such time as Eve screwed up and ate the forbidden apple everything in the World was the truth! If though only the truth were told then there would be mass unemployment – why? Well, why would you need books in plural? Surely, only one book would suffice on one subject? No TV stations only one, etc., etc. So, you see the whole world revolves around lies, half-truths, and mendacity, without which the World could not advance. What a sad effing state of affairs. In my autobiography (part 1) I called it ‘The Truth and Nothing but the Truth.’ I did not call it the whole truth’ because to do that would be very dangerous and hurt many people.
Monday 31 December 2018
07.06pm – Tomorrow rides in 2019 and to all those who supported me, wrote to me, or even just thought of me because direct communication was not wise – I wish you all a Happy New Year and a big thank you. I have been years without seeing anyone and I hold no grudges over that – it was a choice and with choices, there are always results and consequences. A choice can be right or wrong or in my case – just a choice. Today, my eldest son said to me ‘I wish you were out dad as you would know what to do.’ You see, if my son had been to visit me 1,000 times it would not mean as much as that sentence in a rushed and recorded telephone conversation. Visits do not create love or affections. They are nice but real love, affection, and duty are either there or not! I have not seen my family for six years but my love for them is as strong as ever. I remember talking to President Nelson Mandela and he told me that he got through the years by visiting his family in his mind and dreams, even his son that died. That is how I have managed. My family, my friends, dearest Caroline who has been there against all odds to support me, they are always on my mind. All of my family have got through these years with hard work and dignity. Next year it’s my turn to do that! Happy New Year to you all.
NB: Some images retrieved from Google, will remove at owner’s request.